i'm not dead yet!

Wow...it seems like a lifetime ago that I posted. I don't know what changed, but I just lost that interest to share with the world. Maybe because I felt my life had become uninteresting. Lately I've been a bit more of an introvert than usual.

The update...

Geez, where to begin? The last post was right before my trip to SF pride...three months ago. That trip was great!!! It was with my party friends and they're hilarious gay folk. The 4 hour drive was just one big comedic road trip. I had a great time at pride. Got wasted every night I was there. A lot of our time there was spent walking around the downtown area, which I have to say is ghetto! I don't think I ever walked so much in one weekend. We saw everything you'd expect to see at a pride event, dike's on bikes, naked old men, drag queens, tannies with proud boob jobs for all to see, rainbows, feather boas, homo thugs, assless chaps, whips and chains, and of course not to be outdone the protesting Christian folk.

July is just a blur...nothing exciting happened. I was in Dallas, TX for a few day early August for an engineering conference. It was hot as hell! Hot AND humid! No thanks, I'll stick with my dry heat. It was a Hispanic engineering conference and there were plenty of hotties in business suits...and I have a thing for a man in a business suit. So needless to say I had a good time.

On the dating front...NOTHING to report. If you recall I had been dating a pretty cool guy for a few months. After about 10 months of dating we decided to try the relationship bit, but I quickly decided that we were better friends. You know how after you're friends with someone for so long without ever crossing that line it's hard to see them as anything other? Well, that's what happened with us I think. I couldn't see him as anything more than a friend. We still hang out, but not as frequently as before and that's cool. Now I'm kinda just numb to the whole dating thing. I've been out on a couple of dates, but I'm just not into it right now. The whole idea just bores me. So I think I'll just chill for a bit.

I think I've reached a point at my job where I no longer want to be doing this work. I do it 'cause I can and I'm good at it, but I never set out to make IT support a career. I picked it up as a hobbie and now I'm tired of it, so I've been looking for an actual engineering job. I have a couple leads and hoping something will come through. I need to be excited about work again.

So that's pretty much it for an update...see I told you...uninteresting and I hate it!!!

somewhere over the rainbow

That's where I'll be this weekend...somewhere over the rainbow. It's San Francisco Pride this weekend and I'll be there amongst the gays. I've never been, so I'm excited. I plan to have a great time this weekend, I need it!

I don't know if I'm more excited about the festival or escaping the 108+ degree weather that's expected here this weekend. Once i'm there amongst the hotties I'm sure I'll be generating my own heat wave. I hope you all have a great weekend also! Have fun!

i heard it through the grape vine...

I have recently been made aware of a rumor circulating amongst the old college crowd regarding my sexuality. Apparently, I have become a topic of conversation at parties, weddings, get togethers...I feel so popular. It all started innocently enough with me opting to post my sexual orientation on my MySpace account. I have gay friends who for whatever reason, maybe for this very reason, choose not to post their sexual orientation on their profile. I thought, fuck it...who cares? Apparently, many people do. Hell, had I known coming out would be this easy I'd have created my MySpace profile a long time ago. As most rumors go, this one has spread like wildfire.

I don't really care that people know, in fact I prefer that they do know that way I know who's fake. I guess what bugs me is that there are people out there who share this information freely without so much a thought about the consequences it might have for the person they're outting. Maybe I'm just biased, but I have a problem with someone going around outting people. I mean, coming out is a very personal choice and to have someone making that choice for me kind of gets under my skin. Granted I chose to post the information on my profile and it is available to anyone who happens upon my profile, but I'm not going around telling everyone and anyone that I'm gay.

I guess people don't realize the impact of outting someone. We live in a society that for the most part still frowns upon what it has labeled a "life style". Spreading that kind of rumor is totally different from spreading a rumor that, say I knocked someone up. Knocking someone up doesn't have the potential of hurting current or future relationships, unless you happen to knock up a friend's wife. Having one's sexuality advertised, especially in a straight male dominated field such as mine, runs the risk of hurting possible career relationships as well. On the upside, I wouldn't want to work for or with any homophobes anyway.

I guess I should be thankful that this rumor is doing all the leg work for me, as far as coming out to those around me. We'll see how all this goes down.

it's the first day of summer!

I don't remember summer starting so late. Well it seems late anyway. I guess because I always think of summer as starting at the beginning of June. Anyway, the weather her in the armpit of California had been mild and beautiful for the passed couple of weeks. With 101 degrees today and the 108 degrees expected here by week's end, we're quickly being snapped back to reality. I hope you all have some plans for this summer.

i'm addicted to cosmetic surgery!

Well, a show about cosmetic surgery anyway. A friend let me borrow Nip/Tuck season1 and season 2 and I am now hooked. I watched the entire season 1 DVD set over one weekend. Now I'm halfway through the second season. I love that show. It's very graphic in it's portrayal of the surgeries. It is almost like watching one of them reality shows on the Discovery Channel.

Sure, the plots twists and turns are sometimes obvious, but it's very entertaining nonetheless. Since I don't watch much TV anymore, this is kind of my guilty pleasure. I get home from work and I pop in the DVD and watch an episode or two. Very entertaining I tell ya. If you don't know of the show it runs on the FX network. I'm guessing from the material and language that it runs late at night. If you get a chance, check it out.

and now...an update!!!

So, how goes it? I guess I've been gone from my blog for a minute now. I feel bad for it, but I've just been lagging. No excuse other than just been laggin'.

Let's see where to begin. Not a whole lot has happened with me since my last post. On the health front, I bought a new bike and have begun cycling with my ex...though, I've been going at it alone lately. You know how that goes...you start something with a partner but then sooner than later you always end up doing it alone. Anyway, I hadn't realized how out of shape I actually was until I went on that 2+mile bike trail for the first time. That killed me! My second time was worse...I actually cramped up after the ride. The last time i was out riding I suffered from a bad sinus headache. I could barely see straight the pain was so bad and I had to drive clear across town back to my place. The trail I ride is at a park across town, but the trail is nice and leisurely. Well, except for all those damned hills! I think I have to go see a sinus specialist, 'cause I've been having lots of problems lately. Of course the bad air quality doesn't help any. Aside from that the weather had been beautiful here lately, rare for it being so late in June...oh but the triple digits are looming right around the corner. :(

On the romance side...nothing new to report. Still talking to the one guy and not sure if that's progressing at all. Sometimes I wish we could move forward and other times I'm glad we're just friends for now. This is the longest I've gone talking with someone without jumping into a relationship...almost 8 months now. Sometimes that line between being just friends and being boyfriends gets blurred and we have to remind eachother of it, 'cause there's been some misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Overall, though, we're managing. I guess the reason why I don't want to rush into anything with this guy, is 'cause when I'm in a relationship I'm in it for the long haul and I want to be sure I want to be with him and he wants to be with me. With my ex there was always the lingering doubt in the back of his mind and that's what ultimately ruined our relationship. So I refuse to put myself back out there like that.

Work is going okay. It's summer time, so all the faculty I usually deal with are out on vacation and so things here have been really slow. Next week I will be off all week and am not returning until the Wednesday after 4th of July. This weekend I will be heading up to San Francisco Pride. I've never been to SF Pride, but I hear it's a wild time. I can't wait! I sound so gay I know, but I just need to unwind like no other. You just don't understand.

That is it I guess. Nothing exciting told ya. I'm still alive though, and that's always a wonderful thing. I will try to keep yous all updated more often. I have to come up with one of them themed post days to keep posting regularly. I'll think of something...

I hope that you're all doing well out there. Drop me a line. Take care of you!

NOOOO!!!!

My baby was cut from American Idol last night. How can this be?! Granted I'd stopped watching AI about a month ago, but I'd always catch up on his performances online. I know he'll make it in the biz, 'cause he's hot and he sounds great, but I really wanted him to win. I don't know why, I just did okay?

Ah well, I'll just look forward to buying his album in a few months. The remaining finalists are good, but now I'm pulling for Elliot Yamin to win.

it's out!!!

So I went in for my dental surgery as planned on Friday afternoon. I had prepared myself mentally for all the pain and discomfort most people talk about after having dental work done. I think I might be a bit of a masochist, as I was actually looking forward to the surgery.

My surgeon had a very calming voice. Calming in that I believe a conversation with him would leave anyone in a comatose state. Picture Norman Bates in a white lab coat. His voice was sooo monotonic I almost didn't need the novocaine to numb me. But I was glad for it. I think the novocaine injections were the most painful part of the procedure. The first injection to my outter gums caught me off guard and forced a tear to my eye. The second injection he warned me about so it didn't hurt as much. Five minutes later the Dr. announced we were ready to begin.

It's a weird feeling seeing all this work being done on you and not feeling a damned thing. I imagine that's what an out of body experience must feel like. I was awake for the whole procedure, which only took about 30 minutes. My Dr. was grinding, twisting, and pulling and out came the bloody tooth. Wow...that's cool. Next he came at me with his drill...well a drill, not HIS drill. I saw a pretty large drill bit attached to it and I thought WTF? Next thing I know he's drilling into my bone, which of course I don't feel a damned thing except slight pressure. He inserted the titanium post into the bone and started racheting it in place as if he were working on a car engine...that was cool too. I felt the tightening pressure as he screwed the post into place. A bit of cadaver bone grafting around the metal post and a couple stitches later and voila! he was done. Oh, but the stupid dental assistant did clip my bottom lip with the scissors she was using to cut the string. My lips were already dry and parched from having them out stretched for so long. Ahem...they're not used to that. Anyway, luckily she clipped me with the dull edges near the handle so they only pinched my lips and didn't cut. Otherwise, a bitch would've had to been slapped.

I have to wait two months for the post to heal into the bone before I can have my replacement tooth put on. So for now I'm walking around with a whole in my grill. It's off to the side so it's not really noticeable unless I smile widely, which I've learned not to do. Or unless you're sitting off to my left as I'm talking. I had always prided on the fact that my grill was almost perfect. People would always compliment me on my toofeses, but now I'm all self-conscious and shit. I hate it!!! I can't wait to have my implant in.

Moral of the story...kids take care of your teeth!!! In two weeks I get to see my hot dentist...yay!!!